Girls of Gaming: Sexy Gaming Girls are really just Guys in Real Life!!!

G.I.R.L. is an acronym for Guy.In.Real.Life

If you’re a fan of RPG-type games, there’s no doubt you’ve encountered several of these so-called “G.I.R.L.s” (Guys In Real Life)(of course, it could also technically stand for “Girl in Real Life”, but that’s not what we’re referring to). These odd creatures inhabit many a fantasy world, ensnaring unsuspecting teenage boys desperate to find social acceptance. They appear to troubled youngsters as queens of whatever the game in question is and demand peace offerings of money, equipment, and lavish online wedding ceremonies.

The reasons these vile creatures partake in such a disturbing hobby are clear, when one takes the time to envision the many advantages girls in role-playing worlds enjoy.

Whether or not you choose to believe it, girls are given great advantages in many RPG-type games. In some games, developers have actually made female equipment superior to male equipment in an effort to attract more female players. In the realm of RPGs, girls are always cute and even sexually appealing. All one has to do is say the word and often, a guy will jump at the chance to please.

http://mmohub.org/wp-content/gallery/albatross18/albatross18_girl.jpg

You're really going to say no to her?

Let’s face it, kids. The biggest reason we play RPGs is because we’re dissatisfied with our real lives. In a role-playing game, we can be whoever we want, kill monsters ten times larger than us, and wield giant swords. In real life, we can do none of that.

In effect, we use RPGs to alleviate the monotony of our own lives.

For most of us, girls aren’t exactly our area of expertise. Sure, maybe there are some girls at school you consider to be “friends”. But you don’t know them. Not really. So when a “girl” appears to you in your fantasy world, you jump at the chance. You want this girl to like you, even if you’ve never met her and you’re not even really sure if she is indeed a girl.

Whatever she asks is, to you, a pittance compared to what you think you’re receiving - acceptance from a member of the opposite gender. And when you’re confronted with the choice to either help a player who appears to be a girl and a male player, who are you going to choose?

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There are varying degrees of G.I.R.L.s, from “noob” rank to “psychotic” level. The type of G.I.R.L. to whom I refer to as “noobs” suck at pretending to be girls; I’m surprised many of them even figured out how to make their character female. They have crap spelling and horrible grammar which leads most to ignore their requests, which are often ridiculous. The people broadcasting “LOOKIN 4 HOT BF W/ MONIES”? I’m referring to them.

The next time are the casual type. They are actually a bit more common than “noob” types, but oftentimes, they don’t really talk to other people that much. They just enjoy having a female character for whatever reason they have. Of course, that doesn’t mean they won’t take advantage of someone using their preconceived notions of who that person is (that is, a girl).

http://www.ganbareya.sakura.ne.jp/works/ARO/screenshot1.jpg

The psychotic-level G.I.R.L.s… are frightening. They’re often the ones that even the most experienced player has trouble with when trying to figure out whether they’re really a guy or a girl. They’re at the center of multiple social webs that span the entire server, and are most likely filthy rich (that is, in-game).

They amass followers and make friends with numbers multiple times more than they probably have in real life. They are the ones with 1k+ forum post counts and elaborate signature images (probably created by some hapless suitor). They might even have fake MySpace accounts, with pictures stolen off of the obscure corners of the Internet. But even on MySpace, they have tons of “friends”.

Of course, there are great lulz to be had by becoming a G.I.R.L., but the toll it’ll take on your mental state (do it too long and you’ll develop DID) isn’t worth it unless you find you’re very good at it.

Until next time,

Gnarfard.

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